Silence of The Lamb

I have been silent here on this blog for a month now. That is because we have been experiencing God's Silence...

What do we do when God is silent? Obviously, this depends on the nature of the trial and the nature of the silence... Well, I can't say that I have any real answers, but I have some thoughts -- some are not spiritual, but are reality...

• Pray
• Cry
• Wait
• Search the Bible for answers
• Panic, but with nothing to "do" to fix anything
• Worry
• Repent from Worrying
• Search in vain for some "Magic Formula"

Some trials have no "deadline" associated with them. My wife and I have both experienced the death of a spouse. This was a trial that just went on and on, but there was no date or time that something bad was going to happen. It was simply enduring the loneliness and grief of loss. Well, it wasn't "simply" anything, but we could just trudge along day after day waiting, waiting, and more waiting until we could see God provide comfort and relief from grief in various ways. He was and is faithful!

But, this present trial is much different and doesn't merely require "endurance". The truth is that our severance pay has now run out, and (even with unemployment, gifts, and other forms of income) we are going to run out of money to pay our basic bills. Waiting means something entirely different than it did after we each lost our first spouse. Waiting means running out, potentially losing the home we just built, having to find family or friends to let us live with them until we can find a job to begin the rebuilding process.

I have been told -- and I can see on the news -- that we are not alone. There are a lot of people across this "land of opportunity" that are on the verge of losing everything they have worked for. It may give a little comfort to know that others share the same dire circumstances that we are experiencing, but then, this is not really "comforting"...

So, is there any consolation? Is there any comfort? Well, I can list some things that I believe, but they sound very hollow when I think of the possibility that we might have to find friends to help us move those things that we don't want to part with -- though we know not where to store them -- and have our credit ruined while we go "beg" family and friends to help us. And, when we think about wanting to provide some sense of stability --- or even just food and shelter -- for our teenagers, who have already experienced the loss of a parent... Here are some thoughts that might be considered "comforting", though it does seem increasingly hollow:

• We have trusted in the blood of Jesus for our Salvation. Though our home, our "things", or even food can be taken away, NO ONE can take away the gift of eternal life that God has promised. Yes, this is definitely a comfort.
• We know that God "will never leave us nor forsake us." Of course, getting an understanding of what this means in this particular circumstance is definitely a challenge. Allow my humanness to show through for a moment -- It isn't Jesus in Flesh here with us. He doesn't require food or shelter. I know, He has a plan, and in His plan for us, He has not "forsaken" bringing His plan for us to fruition. (Though a different context) He who has begun a "good work" in us is faithful, and He will continue it to the "Day of Jesus Christ" -- He will not forsake His "Good Work" in us.
  
• James tells us that we KNOW that the trying of our faith will bring forth patience, ultimately making us "perfect" or "complete". Of course, it feels like a slap in the face to read (or be quoted) the verse to "consider it all joy"... I have to read these verses to say that we should consider the final result joy -- the result of maturity -- that is where we find the "joy" -- not in the trial itself! Yes, I know that in this trial, God has considered us "worthy" of these trials, and through this, He will bring us to greater maturity. Well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it...
• We know that our Great High Priest, Jesus Christ, walked this earth and experienced all the different sorts of temptations and testing just like we experience, and yet he did not sin (Hebrews 4:15). And, we also know that He knows the infirmities we have in this life (Romans 8:26)

My prayers have become childlike. Maybe that is what my Daddy in Heaven wants. I have certainly been brought low. I pray as David did in Psalm 142:6 (though his persecutors were trying to kill him) -- Lord God, Attend unto my cry; for I am brought very low: deliver me from my persecutors; for they are stronger than I.

Heavenly Father, Daddy, please help us! Please, Lord Jesus, hear our cries, see our tears, and feel our longing for your help. We feel helpless. We try to do what we know to do, but doors continue to slam in our faces. We pour out our broken hearts before you. We thank and praise you for saving us from eternal damnation in Hell! We need deliverance here on earth today... We need a job that will allow us to be faithful to pay our living expenses -- to work for our food and shelter. We are truly incapable of fixing our current dilemma without your help...

In Jesus name -- through whom we have Salvation and whom we desire to serve -- Amen